RIP Kid Nation

I thought the conclusion of this epic show was worthy of an entry. I'm really in no position to really complain about the show ending- I haven't even seen the final episode. But because I keep regular tabs on the series via my favorite KN blog, bonanzacity.blogspot.com, I kind of already know what happens. But knowing the highlights of this show is pretty much meaningless. The winner of the Golden Star is as unimportant as the host's real life, which I can only hope is empty and hapless.

What has made this show great is it's ability to entertain with the small details. Seeing as how the plot was entirely forced via "journal entries" (I'm sure the kids would have confronted the issue of Hinduism on their own), we as viewers waited for unexpected one liners. There were always the go to characters who could always be trusted to say something bat shit crazy- Jared aka Crazy Jewish Kid was an overflowing fountain of profundities. After cashing in on his self made necklaces and collecting nearly 30 shiny buffalo nickels, he hit up the corner store and emerged in full pimp gear, in pure Jared style. He even had the pimp cane (completely edible I may add). Combine this information with classic lines like "to kill or not to kill, THAT is the question" all whilst having his lips stained red from too much Kool-Aid. Or human blood. You could have thrown this kid in the middle of the desert, put him in a tie died shirt and let the cameras roll and you would have a great show.

But let us not forget other favorites such as Punjab, aka the Indian Gonzo aka Anjay. Everytime his face graced the television screen, it was enough to drive you to drink. But perhaps the most crucial moment of the entire series came from the fat butterball bitch who played with the chickens all day- and I can only imagine smelled like BO and Chicken shit- who uttered the classic line "I'll pick up my game". Granted, it's unfunny out of context, but just imagine the smelliest, fattest kid you knew growing up being confronted about his/her laziness and them responding in a double-chinned southern drawl "all pick up ma gaime". Classic television.

But perhaps the best thing Kid Nation gave us was the drinking. Ah the drinking. The game we created, following the conventions of "take a drink everytime..." basically wrote itself. From the get go, there were personalities you knew were going to get shit all over and do the shitting. Throw in some generalities about the way kids operate (like always choosing the "right" prize when in fact they should ALWAYS choose the pizza/ponies/private pimp lounge/rave party). Top it off with some observation about these children, like their general discomfort with freezing to death in a desert and their common lip sores and WALLA, you have that many more reasons to drink.

I'm not sure if this show would have been as enjoyable if I had been sober through the entire thing, but there's one thing I'm sure of. I'll be tuning in to Kid Nation II, if and when it comes out. Another certainty is that I'll be buying the unrrated DVD box set when it comes out so I can really see what Greg did when he picked up all those unsuspecting 9 year olds and carried them into the darkness. Hopefully we'll also see some full frontal, at least with Taylor.