The Move Homeward

The impending move back east has me anxious. I can't sleep. I can't eat properly. I feel like I'm transgressing through a luke-warm purgatory where I'm neither here nor there. And it's the worst. It's like the first week back at school when the teacher is passing out the syllabus and explaining what you'll be covering and everyones deciding if this is going to be a fun class or if it's just a bunch of shit-pants losers where no spark of excitement will emerge. Fuck that period- just jump right in and teach me about rocks and fauna (drawing from a particularly painful earth science memory).

Yet I'm hopeful. This move is surely a new adventure. But "starting again" in a new city is always a challenge that too gets easier with time.

I miss the life and friends that I've built in California already. Los Angeles has been an amazing experience- one that started shaky, got off to a slow start but hit its stride beautifully, delivering a great neighborhood, fun jobs, exciting times and an amazing group of friends. For one of the first times I felt surrounded by people who had a sincere energy to create, to make, to do. So many smart, driven people. That's not to discount times past but LA delivered something different. It also allowed me to become more comfortable with myself than ever before. I felt at ease in my skin and in new situations. I felt funnier and smarter and happier.

I suppose I hope to carry that feeling across the country, to continue living what can only be considered a dream, a charmed existence.

Many adventures lay ahead, some business-minded that require my dedication and stalwartness and others that include new people, new places, new feelings.

Hell, it's going to be great.